Owen. Why did you become a doctor?

In spite of the weight in her chest that's been growing heavier as the months changed, Katniss really has tried not to think about Panem. She's tried to throw herself into working in the garden with Simon, helping John with the horses, spending time with little Val. And maybe it has helped, in that she hasn't woken up screaming even once. But none of it has kept her from remembering.

Still she fights to keep the memories from dragging her down into that distant place her mother vanished into when her father died, and has even been winning that fight.

But when she wakes up on July 4th, her heart almost instantly starts hammering in her throat, loud thundering beats filling even her bad ear (it's gotten better, thanks to Owen, but she can still tell her hearing isn't what it was before the explosion) and making it difficult to breathe.

They've all told her what the day means in the North America that John came from, such a stark contrast to what it means in Panem, but no matter how many things she sees in her little room that remind her this isn't the small house she shared with her mother and sister (listing them out to herself-phone, feather pillow, soft blankets helps sometimes, but not today), she can't quite stop the anthem from echoing through her mind as she gets dressed.

She keeps trying, though. Food makes it easier, because nothing can make her forget the hollow days that made her scramble for that burned bread thrown into the mud. She barely notices what she's eating, though, and it does next to nothing to stop the cold, heavy knot twisting around her stomach.
She doesn't know how much she's eaten before she's moving, brisk without running, for her boots and bow and the small backpack she's kept from the Arena because it's a secure place for the knives and night vision goggles. Her fingers practically move on their own to tie the laces and put the sling of arrows and bag over her shoulder, and she doesn't really see where she's going after that but it doesn't matter because her feet know the way to the small copse of trees just beyond the horse pasture. They aren't the woods outside Twelve, not anywhere as familiar yet, but there's still trees and plants and birds--

And at least for now, no person but her.

The first clear thought she has after going for her boots, once she's in front of a familiar tree, is to stop herself from kneeling to set a snare before she climbs it.

There's no one here you need to stop from following you, Katniss.

It still takes her a few moments to actually start climbing, as her fingers tingle and shake with stupid fear, but once she does she quickly makes it to a branch she knows will hold her weight for…

For however long she needs to sit up there, head tipped back as she stares up through the branches, trying to see the leaves and sky instead of one particular, mischievous little face.